As if the plaid pants didn’t make you look enough like Bozo the Clown, a matching plaid bowtie half the size of your face finished you off. Dressing in a suit is never fun, what with that constricting neck, stuffy jacket, and silly patent leather shoes that don’t bend, but this was too much. With a bowtie wingspan like that, you could take off, for goodness sakes, or use it as a chin rest! Mom owes you big time.
Really, it wasn’t Mom’s fault: bowties had to be that big, or they’d get lost in the sea of ruffles that rolled off your shirt. Besides, some chicks really did dig the big butterfly bowtie (just keep telling yourself that). And don’t forget the most necessary accessory to your butterfly bowtie…yep, a trip to the barber. Maybe being Bozo isn’t that bad…after all, he never has to get his hair cut.